Domestic Engineer

28/06/2007 by Uncle.

When I eventually got back from Egham, I found L in the kitchen armed with a couple of screwdrivers. The dishwasher door open and the interior panel off with wires hanging out. She was manipulating wires and bits of stuff around and saying a lot of things in Estonian which didn’t sound very polite, but my Estonian is a little thin on the ground I must say.

“What are you doing?” I asked

“Trying to mend the dishwasher, the programmer has broken” L replied.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am sure” L said with more than just a minor note of irritation as she beavered away with her back to me.

“Can I help?”

“Probably not”

Thank God for small mercies I thought.

“There is really only a few things to go wrong with dishwasher. The main ones are the element, which heats the water. Then there is the water pump, and lastly the programmer, somtimes the seals go and they leak but…” she explained with an exasperated look on her face “The programmer is the most expensive bit, so you don’t get a prize for knowing it is that that breaks down more often than anything else”

“Is that a fact?” I said nodding my head sagely.

“Yes it is actually” she retorted looking with disgust at the offending gubbins in her hand. It was a programmer apparently.

“Are you some kind of expert or something?” I said in a bit of a sarcastic tone.

“As a mater of fact I am, I told you already that I am a domestic engineer” she retorted rather curtly.

“Oh right yeah, actually I thought it was joke” I said a little taken a back

“Why?”

“Well, domestic engineer, you know cleaner, housewife” I explained smiling

“why is that a joke, I am not a wife, I don’t understand?” she glared at me over her shoulder as she did something to the door.

“Well, err you know domestic engineer is a fancy title ladies give themselves as a joke, when they mean that they stay at home and look after their families” I explained.

“Why do they need a fancy title?”

“Why indeed” I agreed

“But I don’t understand why it is funny?” She persisted

“Well err its not really I suppose” I muttered

“So why is it a joke?”

She was a like a dog with a bloody bone. Do you ever wonder how you have managed to get yourself into a conversation or situation? I thought I had better try and make amends at what was clearly my gaff. I think. Gawd.

“So can you mend it?” I asked.

“Not now” she said closing the door very seriously.

“Whys that?” I said

“Because” she said rather sharply as she turned slowly turning towards me with a face like thunder. “I have finished”.

She pressed the start button and the dishwasher started its cycle.

Her stony expression gave way to that big beaming smile of hers.

“You crafty Doris”

She laughed a big happy laugh

“I think you mean crafty domestic engineer” She corrected me wagging her finger. And with that, she kissed me on the cheek and left the kitchen leaving me looking at a dishwasher.

There is only one Domestic Minx, but I wonder what the Estonian is for Domestic Minx?

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